As a developer, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this: “I have a zero budget. You’ll become a partner and get paid with the profits.”
I got another phone call today from some prick who’s “not trying to sell me,” but has a VERY PROFITABLE opportunity for me if I do work for free and become a partner. This guy was some sleezy idiot who’s trying to put up a bunch “GET RICH QUICK BY INTERNET MARKETING” sites… He pointed me in the direction of some poorly built, worthless website that allegedly makes him 40k per month. He continues to tell me that he gets unreal amounts of traffic to this site and that he needs a good Joomla! developer to get the ball rolling. Being such a generous guy, he’d share the profits.
Come on. Who the F*** are you trying to kid? This prick doesn’t know a damn thing about internet marketing and doesn’t make 40 cents in profit, let alone 40k. Then, to sit here and lie to me about the amount of traffic this site gets, thinking he’ll be able to persuade me into a zero-compensation development project. What, did he expect me to say, “Oh yeah, sign me up… I’m interested. What a great idea… this guy is a real innovator in web technology.” – I ended up telling him I’d call him back later. Being the sharp business man he is, his response was, (in a condescending voice) “What time can I expect your call ?” Look asshole, NEVER. Don’t waste my time by thinking you’re going to swindle me into your ridiculous shenanigans.
Let’s apply this same concept to another industry.
What if I called an architect firm, or some custom home builder and started talking to them about a new hotel I wanted to have built. The hotel will be “the next best thing” in hotels. —
“Now, what I’m looking for is somebody who is willing to partner with me. I’ll do some of the marketing, but the firms needs to create the design, map out the blueprints, and hire the contractors. Oh wait, we’ll need some land to build on, so that’ll be your job, architect guys – go ahead and give up some of your land for my project. But don’t worry… I already have a name for the hotel already picked out. Now, when the hotel is all done, there’s gonna be quite a bit of ongoing maintenance and additional development initiatives. But wait, let’s not forget that the architect folks are responsible for making sure that the hotel gets listed in all the phone books and that the hotel has a significant presence in each and every phone book – it’s important the my hotel is the first that anybody sees when searching for “hotel.” Okay, let’s talk compensation. I don’t plan on paying you anything architect guys… instead, I’m willing to give you 25% of the PROFIT, which you won’t have any control of. This is MY project and my idea… so, 25% is more than generous. …. Final thoughts? Let’s get moving on the development. "
Call me crazy, but I tend to think that I’d get kicked in the nuts for doing something stupid like that. This kind of inquiry comes in all the time, I kid you not.
Do us all a favor, time-wasting pricks… stop calling – thinking that we’re going to jump all over your worthless ideas. It’s rather arrogant to think that ANY business owner or freelance developer is going to buy into your foolish plan, setting our own ideas and goals aside. Any free time I have goes to my own business ventures… not some sleezy, get rich scheme. A partnership with these idiots is like shoving pencils in my eyes repeatedly for 2 months straight. Moreover, if you can’t help it, and need to make that call, dickhead, at least do a bit of research in the industry… typically speaking, we’re not idiots and can tell right away that your site doesn’t make 40k per month. – DON’T TAKE ME TO A SHACK ALONG THE DITCH AND TRY TO CONVINCE ME IT’S A MANSION ALONG THE BEACH.
I know that many of the OpenJason readers know EXACTLY what I’m talking about… share some love.
Tags: development, sleezy, time wasting, fools, arrogant, php, joomla
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Jason, I am an author who has Word Productions media and publishing to make my living, and a nonprofit missions educational 501(3)(c).
I have a new possible job where I live that requires making changes on a Joomla site. My son and I want someone where I live to direct us to a tutorial, class, or a couple of hours of school in it.
I have a BA in Biblical Studies [Archaeology emphasis] with 30 hours of computer technology. I have managed a Liquid Web server netprobe.net since 1996 and have done a lot of web and some Flash…an interactive community college CD-Rom for a medical class and love technology.
My new project is different than WordPress in which I have minimal experience.
Can you direct to someone in other states? I would rather not add any more info on a public blog.
Hi jason, I do get such kinda inquiry once in a week. LOL……I’ve a lot of idea in my mind regarding internet marketing and I’ve to leave my job to implement them…
how can I work on their idea ….ha ha…
f#@k them dude….
Jason, this is definitely a very deserved indignation of yours and I can imagine any good developer faces such proposals from time to time. The only question I have here: why don’t you feel a temptation to tell the guy on the phone everything you’ve told here or at least tell that you are not interested instead of promising to call him back? I think that such people deserve that people tell them they are not interested at all and maybe explain why – or they will continue to think they can fool other developers. So why are you promising to call back? Is it politeness or anything else?
I would say it’s a mix of politeness along with not wanting to waste any more time talking…
What an ass. Ive received a similar call ages ago. I pretended I was hearing white noises and hung up.
What a turd…but sad that some fool would actually fall into the trap.